


Those Who Made it Home

by Bittereloquence



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Cody doesn't know what to do with all these feels, Eventual Happy Ending, Grief/Mourning, Introspection heavy, M/M, No Beta We Die Like Clones, Obi-Wan doesn't either, Playing loose and fast with military structure, Poor coping habits, Post-Episode: s04e15 Deception, Rex is fed up with the both of them., Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:49:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23992585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bittereloquence/pseuds/Bittereloquence
Summary: The price of waiting too long is that one day it might be too late and then you are left with a lifetime of regret. When Obi-Wan is seemingly killed by a sniper's bullet, Cody is left to pick up the pieces. This is the Deception Arc from mainly Cody's POV and the fall-out from that deception.
Relationships: CC-2224 | Cody & CT-7567 | Rex, CC-2224 | Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 60
Kudos: 277
Collections: Star Wars Fanfiction Discord





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy May the 4th, have some angst and suffering. I learned this from Dave Filoni. :X

_the pain  
it will leave  
once it has finished  
teaching you. _  
-Pavana Reddy

* * *

Cody was in his office catching up on some much-needed paperwork when the news broke. The _Negotiator_ was in dry-dock undergoing repairs after their latest campaign had drained their resources to an all time low. In numbers, their equipment but also in the psychological damage they’d all faced lately because the Battle of Umbara had left deep, emotional scars in all the clone troopers. Knowledge that there had been blue on blue casualties as the 501st and 212th was pointed at each other like a loaded weapon had left its mark on all of them.

Losing so many brothers hurt every time but losing a brother at the hand of another _vode_? None of them were prepared for that.

When the opportunity to return to Coruscant had arisen and some much needed, much-promised leave had come over the horizon, the 212th morale as a whole had been at an all-time low. Earlier, he’d seen Boil who seemed like he had one foot in the grave after losing Waxer get dragged off by some worried squadmates in an attempt to cheer him up and Cody mourned for him and his loss.

Even now, he worried that come the next battle, they might lose him as well to the crippling depression that had shadowed his every step ever since Umbara. It was a familiar worry because Boil wasn’t the only one who’d suffered in the last few months.

Concern for Rex was an ever-present worry that constantly nagged at the back of his mind. His friend had been through hell on Umbara only to find himself being shanghaied by kriffing slavers a few short weeks after. Cody didn’t know the full details of what he and Obi-Wan had faced in their short time at the brutal hands of those Zygerrian scum but he knew enough. He’d read that horror in the shadows of both men’s eyes and a part of him had died at the realization that he’d come so close to losing two of the most important people in his life.

He was no stranger to loss or the grief of fallen brothers and friends but it was something else entirely to be faced with the reality that he’d very nearly lost his best friend and his general, the man he loved quietly and stoically from within the privacy of his own heart. Such a love had no place in a war zone and it certainly had no place between a clone and his Jedi where their stations were near galaxies apart.

Still, in the confines of his mind and his many lost hours of sleep staring up at the ceiling of his shoe-box of a room long after lights out, Cody had spent more than enough time stewing over just how complicated his feelings for his general made things.

Tonight, Kenobi was out spending the evening with his former padawan and grand-padawan, Cody could only hope maybe they might be able to ease some of the sadness he’d seen in Obi-Wan’s eyes as of late

It was rare for any of them to have leave, much less leave on the same planet. The GAR needed the 501st and the 212th out there busting through Separatist blockages and freeing rim worlds but even their battalions needed to restock on personnel and supplies, their great battleships needed time in dry dock for needed repairs.

A large portion of his battalion was enjoying their off-time on the planet and Cody knew with a wry sort of amusement that 79’s would be packed to the gills with rowdy clones eager to enjoy some much needed leave.

Part of him wanted to be out there himself, unwinding and relaxing, but this opportunity to get some peace and quiet to catch up on the paperwork that always seemed to slide under the radar was priceless.

Besides, he and Rex had plans to go out tomorrow night instead and he’d even reached out to Fox and arranged time to see his former batchmate. They didn’t see much of each other these days, what with him out on the front lines and Fox being busy making sure the Senate remained safe and capable of carrying out their duties.

He found himself almost looking forward to seeing his grumpy _vod_ if only because it had been so long since he’d seen that ugly mug of his.

So the very last thing Cody expected when he heard the chime at his office door announcing someone wanting entry was to find Rex standing there looking pale and as awful as he’d looked after the Umbara campaign.

Uneasiness shot through Cody and he climbed quickly to his feet, sensing something was massively wrong. “Rex? Kriff, did I mix up the days? I thought we were going out tomorrow night.”

He knew, deep down that was not it. A missed chance at carousing with his friend wouldn’t have put that look in his brother’s eyes, wouldn’t have made his expression that bleak and grim. No something was _wrong_ and Cody’s all too clever mind was flashing like quicksilver through various scenarios of what would make Rex look so grim.

Someone had died. He didn’t know who but that’s the only thing that made sense. His mind immediately seized upon Boil who’d been dragged off reluctantly by a few Ghost Company survivors in a desperate attempt to raise the grieving clone’s spirits.

“Cody-“ Rex started only to be interrupted sharply by his _vod_.

“What’s wrong? Is someone hurt? Did one of the shinies get in trouble?” No, if one of his bone-headed troops had gotten in a fight or ended up in the brig, Fox wouldn’t have been able to resist the opportunity to personally gloat at him, so it wasn’t that.

“Cody…” Rex tried to start again only to trail off.

“ _What_?” The other clone demanded, alarm beginning to thread its way through his voice.

The clone captain swallowed and his eyes trained somewhere around the line of Cody’s mouth, he was unable to look his brother in the eyes when he delivered the news.

“Skywalker and General Kenobi were attacked tonight, a sniper ambushed them.” When Fox had commed him a mere hour earlier in a state of panic at the news, Rex hadn’t wanted to believe him. But the Coruscanti Guard commander had been deadly serious when he informed him his general and Kenobi had been attacked, that Obi-Wan had been killed in the fight. 

He’d wanted Rex to reach out to Cody because their brother deserved to hear the news before it ended up on every news channel on the planet. Before Obi-Wan’s death became a spectacle to be gawked at and picked over by vultures.

Cody didn’t deserve to find out that way, he should be told by a friend, someone who could support him when his world imploded around him.

And Fox, the kriffing bastard, was too much of a coward to do his dirty work himself.

No, that wasn’t fair; they both knew that between the two of them, Rex was the better clone for this duty. Fox was nearly as emotionally constipated as Cody and he wouldn’t know what to say or do. Cody would just emotionally shut him out and the other would retreat to give him his space.

And space was the last thing Cody needed at this time.

“What?” Cody sucked in a sharp breath, eyes furiously searching Rex’s face for some sign he was having a laugh at his expense.

“Cody, I’m _sorry_. Kenobi…he didn’t make it.” The grief in Rex’s voice was unmistakable. “The sniper took him out before General Skywalker or Ahsoka could stop him.”

Cody went ashen beneath the naturally tan hue of his skin tone as the blood left his face. Rex had seen that wounded look of shock on too many brothers’ faces and knew the words hadn’t been fully processed.

“I’m so sorry, _vod_.” He reached out a consoling hand and put it on Cody’s shoulder.

He wasn’t particularly surprised when Cody violently wrenched away and took a distancing step back from him. “ _No_. That can’t be right, there’s no way a sniper could take out the General like that.”

A part of Cody was screaming inside his brain and there was a painful lump in his throat where it closed around a real, physical scream that desperately wanted to escape him. He found himself unreasonably anger, at Rex, at the situation, and even at the truth he didn’t want to face.

“Fox verified it himself, he processed the scene personally.” A member of the Jedi High Council was gunned down in the streets by an unknown assailant? Of course he would handle it personally.

“That’s not possible; he’s on _Coruscant_. He’s _safe_.” This wasn’t some backwater planet where clankers were taking potshots at their heads, this was the Core, and they were supposed to be safe here. After all, Coruscant was supposed to represent safety and the chance to let down their guard because Coruscant was about as secure a planet as you would find in the entire galaxy.

Rex carefully stepped up to him, hands held out at his side non-threateningly as he’d done more than once when dealing with a brother skating near the edge of a breakdown. It was a reality no one talked about because back on Kamino, that sort of weakness would have let to decommissioning and nearly every clone knew someone that had happened to, a brother who had disappeared in the middle of the night during training only to never be seen again.

Cody was one of the strongest men he knew but he knew how much Obi-Wan meant to him and could guess at what was going on inside his brain right now.

“I know, _vod_ , it doesn’t make any kriffing sense.” The knowledge that this could have been him, that he could be the one mourning Anakin had ice crawling up Rex’s spine. He wasn’t in love with his general like Cody. Not that Cody had ever admitted such a thing out loud but he’d seen the way his brother looked at Kenobi when he thought no one was looking. Losing Skywalker would have broken something inside of him, would have left a bleeding, gaping hole he didn’t think would ever be healed and he knew Cody was the same way in that regard.

This time, his brother didn’t try and pull away when he wrapped his arms around him and pulled Cody into a careful hug. The other clone just stood there, hands hanging down at his sides like dead weights, the stiffness in his frame made it impossible for him to yield into Rex’s arms at first.

“There has to be some kind of mistake, Rex. He’s supposed to be safe. He has two of the strongest _Jetii_ in the galaxy with him.” And they were on Coruscant, not Umbara, not Saleucami or any of a dozen other active battlefronts they’d been on in the past few years.

There was a note of pleading in Cody’s voice that had tears burning in Rex’s eyes and he wished nothing more than to be able to tell his friend that this _was_ a mistake, to spare him this pain. But he didn’t have that power, none of them did.

Finally, after a few agonizing seconds, the stiffness in Cody’s body dissipated and his fingers scrambled for purchase in the grooves of Rex’s plastoid armor and finally found purchase on the edges of his pauldron where he gripped it hard.

A dry, wounded noise that was almost a sob choked its way up Cody’s throat and his eyes burned with unshed tears that would not fall. Be a failure of his training or his own innate stoicism but when he desperately needed a release from his pain and grief, he couldn’t find solace in tears or breaking down.

Instead, his head fell against Rex’s shoulder as his world upended itself around him and a tiny voice at the back of his mind screamed that nothing was ever going to be the same ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first work of fanfiction for this fandom and first work in _years_ so please be patient with me. It's 90% written but my computer decided to eat the last chapter which is currently being written. Ya'll are signing up for 15K + of angst and Cody's noble suffering though there will be some payoff in the end, I promise! I'm going to try and keep to a once-weekly posting schedule with what is shaping up to be 4-5 chapters. Comments and critique are welcome though I do ask you to be civil about it. Thank you for coming on this journey with me!


	2. Chapter 2

The next days passed in a grief-mired blur for Cody and thankfully he had the entire 212th to see to so he was never left alone with his thoughts for very long. There was always an issue, a problem, or something that needed to be fixed and he could bury himself in his work until he was too exhausted at the end of the day to dwell overly long on Obi-Wan or the fact the man was never coming back.

Neither Cody nor any of the rest of the 212th had been invited to attend to the funeral, a slight that inflamed the tempers of more than a few brothers because Kenobi had been _their_ general. And people had known both the general and the commander had been close, it was inevitable when serving side by side for as long as they had.

Cody accepted that slap to the face with his typical staid calmness even if resentment burned like a hot coal inside his chest. To him, it was just the reaffirmation of the fact that at the end of the day, he was just a clone. Something not quite as human as the rest of the nat-born population of the universe and therefore, there would never be a seat for him at that particular table.

Maybe it was uncharitable of him to feel that way but this treatment coming from the Jedi of all people? It hurt, especially when he knew deep down Obi-Wan never would have allowed that if he’d still been alive. He’d been one of the truly good ones, a man who had accepted the clones and gone above and beyond to try and prove to them that they were more than faceless cogs in a war machine. That they weren’t simply tools to be used and then placed aside when they’d lost their edge and purpose.

And to his credit, Skywalker had been furious with the news himself.

“I’m sorry, Cody, it’s not right.” Skywalker tried to apologize over a hastily made holo-call. The young Jedi general looked about as bad as Cody felt, and the shadows of pain and anger in the man’s eyes were honestly a little chilling. The clone knew in his heart of hearts that Obi-Wan would have despaired to see that level of pain in his former padawan.

He would have cautioned about the Dark Side and the dangers of following a dangerous path. But Cody wasn’t Obi-Wan, wasn’t as good a man as he had been. 

“It’s alright, sir. I understand.” Did he though? If he was being honest with himself, he didn’t know.

“It’s not _fair_ of them, it’s not right.” Skywalker fumed, jaw clenching as tension was visible even through the hologram. “I’m sorry.” The Jedi finally finished lamely.

“I don’t need to see them put him in the ground, sir.” Cody finally managed somewhat woodenly and Anakin flinched ever so slightly as unshed tears welled in the man’s eyes. For a moment, Cody wished he was a different person, one who might have been able to offer easy words of consolation because Skywalker was grieving just like he was, he’d known Obi-Wan far longer than him and loved him like a brother. 

“I do appreciate you calling, sir.” He finally managed to say because he couldn’t find a way to make his mouth form the words like _‘I’m sorry for your loss’_ or “ _I’m sorry you had to see him die’_ because he and Skywalker didn’t have that kind of relationship. They were simply two men who’d been in the magnetic orbit of Obi-Wan Kenobi but never anything that you might call friends.

Instead, Cody made a mental note to tell Rex to keep a close watch on his Jedi in the coming days. Especially since Skywalker immediately proved his suspicions and concern to be valid with his next words.

“I’m going to find him, Cody. I promise you, I will make that bounty hunter scum pay for what he’s done.” The anger and rage he heard in Skywalker’s voice had unease dragging icy fingers up his spine and if Cody had been a better man, he might have tried to re-direct that anger. Would have pointed out that was the exact opposite of what Obi-Wan would have wanted because they both knew that if the _Jetii_ got his hands on Rako Hardeen, there was a chance he wouldn’t make out of it alive.

But Cody couldn’t find it in his heart to care because he wanted to see Hardeen just as dead as Anakin did. The knowledge that that bastard was still out there free after he murdered his general had something dark and hateful curling up in his guts. He hated the Separatists and the clankers they came across every day in the field of battle but this was a new kind of anger and hatred, something born of something far more personal than meeting an enemy on the field of battle.

“Please take care of yourself, general. We cannot afford to lose you as well.” The clone finally found himself cautioning because yes, as much as he would love to see Rako Hardeen dead, he knew Obi-Wan would not want his padawan following him immediately into death. It was the duty of the living to try and stay alive as long as they could rather than carelessly throwing their lives away in grief.

Hadn’t Jango Fett constantly instilled that into them during training? That they had to keep on living so they could keep the memories of those fallen loved ones alive? Cody had very contentious feelings on the bounty hunter but as one of the first generations of clones, he’d been lucky enough to be trained personally by the bounty hunter. 

And Jango had drilled his Mandalorian culture and philosophies into every element of training that he’d managed to sneak past the Kaminoans. Even after all these years, the dead bounty hunter’s training was still paying off dividends. 

”General Kenobi wouldn’t have wanted to see you killed on his behalf, sir.” Cody finally said a little more firmly. 

If he’d been Rex, or maybe if they had been more than simple acquaintances, Skywalker would have teased him about being a mother hen but as is was, they were not and a mulish expression started to darken the Jedi’s face. “I know you are more than capable of tracking Hardeen down, sir, just don’t take any unnecessary risks.”

Those were words he’d wished he’d said more often to Obi-Wan. If he had, maybe the idiot wouldn’t have thrown himself face-first at a damned sniper’s position and gotten a blaster bolt through the chest as a reward. 

His subdued request seemed to take some of the bluster out of Anakin’s sails.

“Rako Hardeen will not succeed in killing another Jedi, Commander. I can assure you of that.”

“I know he won’t sir; I have no doubts of that. You’ll find Hardeen and you will bring him to justice because that’s what the general would have wanted.” It cost him so much to say that out loud. Because he didn’t want Hardeen brought to justice, he wanted him dead. But Obi-Wan would have wanted him to face justice for his crimes because he was a better man than all of them.

A part of him lived on in Anakin Skywalker and at the end of the day; he didn’t want to see the other man step down some dark path.

Those words seemed to penetrate the grief and rage that radiated from Skywalker in palpable waves. “Right, what Obi-Wan would have wanted.” The Jedi echoed quietly, the pain clear to hear in his voice. His mouth twisted in a bitter looking grimace that betrayed how unhappy he was with those words. 

“I suspect we both want revenge for what Hardeen has done, but that’s what the general would have wanted,” Cody said, lips briefly twitching into a sad little smile. “He was a good man.”

“He was the best of us.” Skywalker agreed, eyes growing a little misty once again but he managed to fight back any tears with the tattered remains of his self-control. The Jedi sighed heavily and tiredly rubbed his face as the anger drained out of his rangy frame, leaving him exhausted and almost brittle looking through the hologram. 

“I should be going, I still need to prepare for…well, it's going to be a long night.” Skywalker said a little lamely and Cody regretted his inability to conjure up the magic words that could help the grieving man. You would think after years serving at the side of the most silver-tongued man in the galaxy that Cody might have been able to absorb some of Obi-Wan’s gift of gab though osmosis but unfortunately, he had not.

“Of course, sir, thank you again for the call, I do appreciate it.” Cody just hoped his meaning could be understood.

“We’ll talk later, the Council has temporarily placed the 212th under me but I don’t expect them to deploy either the 212th or the 501st for at least another week or so” That was certainly news to him and Cody was afraid his surprise was showing a little bit more than he’d intended if Skywalker’s wry look was anything to go by “I know you’re more than capable of running the 212th in the meantime so just keep doing the exemplary job you always do, Commander.”

“Thank you, sir.” Cody didn’t fluster easily but it was decidedly strange hearing Skywalker say such things. Obi-Wan had constantly had a good word to say when his spirit was low or if he needed a morale boost but that had been _Obi-Wan_ , it was different somehow.

“I may be out of contact the next few days while I track down Hardeen so if you need anything, reach out to Rex. And Cody? I promise you, I will find Rako Hardeen and I will bring him to justice.” Anakin promised; those blue eyes so intense they practically burned even through the hologram.

“That’s all I could ever ask, General Skywalker.” Cody said, practically snapping to attention in reaction and then, much softer, he found himself replying. “Thank you, sir.”

Skywalker offered one last tense-looking smile and the hologram faded out, leaving Cody standing there at a loss for a moment. But then the reality that he was the one at least temporarily overseeing the entirety of the 212th’s daily operations settled in and Cody realized what a huge task he was about to undertake.

Normally, he had General Kenobi there to help share the workload but even between the two of them, they were often bogged down with the minutia and obscene amount of paperwork involved in keeping a battalion fed, kitted out and in fighting trim.

Of course, the fact that he’d barely gotten more than a few hours of rest at night the past few nights might come in handy now. It felt like every time he dropped off into a fitful sleep, his overactive imagination supplied him with imaginary scenarios of Obi-Wan being gunned down in front of him while he desperately raced across some unknown root-top trying to pounce on the nebulous figure of some unknown sniper.

If given his druthers, he would much rather work himself into exhaustion until he didn’t dream at all, thank you very much. Thankfully, he had more than enough work on his plate to keep him occupied for the foreseeable future.

Maybe burying himself in his work until the point of exhaustion wasn’t the healthiest expression of grief but it was all he had to keep himself sane right now. Cody wasn’t the kind of man to crawl into a bottle and drink himself numb like some clone’s who’d been pushed to their limit and beyond. Sure, he’d indulged in his fair share of jet juice and had been known to nurse a drink or two whenever a _vod_ dragged him out to a club like the 79’s but it wasn’t in his nature to overindulge or lose control in such things.

But little did he know the coming week would push him to his very limit and make him severely wish for that drink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate everyone's feedback so far. This fic is officially finished, now I just need to whip it into shape and I will be adjusting to trying to edit and post twice a week from here on out. I'm also working on a follow-up fic which...not even going to lie, is probably going to be a monster in comparison to this one so stay tuned for that. I am also making a concerted effort to post more on my [tumblr](https://bylightofdawn.tumblr.com) so feel free to come shout at me over there and we can spaz out over Star Wars stuff together.


	3. Chapter 3

Cody was in the middle of a holo-meeting with Admiral Yularen who was on the _Resolute_ when the news broke out across the entire holonet. He was going over the final details of the 212th recent resupply from Kamino and what repairs still needed to be done to the _Negotiator_ before she was ready to break orbit when the admiral suddenly looked away distractedly down at a datapad that had been thrust out at him by an aide no doubt who was out of sight of the holo-transmitter. All he saw was a disembodied arm appear out of nowhere holding the pad out and if he'd been a little less worn down, he might have found it funny to behold. But as it was, all he saw was as a potential distraction or reason for this meeting to continue on longer than it needed to be. Not that he would ever air such thoughts out loud, mind you but he had a lot of things to accomplish on his calendar today and it wasn't even noon yet planet-time.

The man’s distraction was atypical and surprising enough that Cody trailed off in the middle of his report to give the admiral time to deal with whatever had suddenly come up an grasped his attention.

“Sir? These figures can wait if you need to reschedule the meeting for later…?” He offered cautiously. Yularen was a bit of a stick in the mud but the man had never shown the same outright disdain other members of the GAR showed towards the clones and Cody grudgingly respected the man. If for no other reason than the fact that he managed to deal with the likes of Anakin Skywalker on a regular basis and hadn’t lost his sanity when dealing with the Jedi’s infamous antics and cheerful disregard for anything resembling a battleplan.

Skywalker was more the dive headfirst into a situation and figure it out as he went sort of man and he would have driven Cody to the brink of his sanity if he’d been placed under his command.

Though now, he supposed he _was_ under Skywalker’s command, the realization hit him like a vibroblade between the ribs just as it had every single time, multiple times a day since the news had reached him that Obi-Wan Kenobi dead

Now, Cody had seen Admiral Yularen in the middle of more than one crisis but even the admiral’s legendary poise seemed tenuous at best when the man looked up from the datapad with a wide-eyed look of surprise on his face.

“I hate to interrupt you, Commander Cody, but I believe you should tune into the holonet.” The man had no sooner stated that then the door to Cody’s office slid open unannounced and a pale-faced clone ensign came practically running inside.

"Sorry, sir, you weren't picking up your coms." Of course, he didn't pick up his coms, couldn't the idiot see he was in the middle of a meeting with the high admiralty for crying out loud?

Cody’s mouth opened to tear the shiny a new one for such a flagrant disregard for protocol when the ensign shoved a datapad at him. It was powered on and the news ticker at the bottom scrolled across the screen.

_Generals Kenobi and Skywalker foil Separatist Plot to kidnap the Chancellor during the Festival of Lights on Naboo._

There was a pretty human news correspondent obviously reading the story off but the volume was muted so Cody could not hear what she was saying. But even if it hadn’t, he doubted he would have been able to hear anything beyond the roaring of blood in his ears.

He stood there poleaxed as the news ticker continued to scroll away merrily in front of his eyes without really absorbing what the Aurebesh glyphs were saying.

“-mander Cody?” Only belatedly did he realize Yularen had spoken his name, who knew how many times the man had been trying to get his attention. He had a sinking feeling his expression wasn’t nearly as composed as he would have liked when he looked up at the admiral guiltily but thankfully, Yularen seemed willing to give him a moment to compose himself.

“Why don’t we reschedule for tomorrow, say oh nine hundred hours?” The admiral suggested almost kindly. The older man was smiling ever so slightly or as close to a smile as Cody had ever seen on his face.

“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.” Cody snapped off a crisp salute and was innumerably grateful Yularen had let him off the hook so easily because right now, he needed to sit down, put his head in his hands, and have a small breakdown.

Unfortunately, he still had the slightly panicked looking shiny standing there in the middle of his office to deal with. He had _so much_ to deal with that he could barely even afford the time to have a minor breakdown but after the past week he’d had, he needed it.

“Get back to the bridge. And don’t you _ever_ come barging in like that again, do you hear me?” He barked at the younger clone gruffly and the cynical part of Cody’s brain wondered just who he’d pissed off enough to be offered up to be the sacrificial bantha who had to bring this news to the commander. He knew he’d been terser than usual but everyone had been out of sorts since Kenobi had died, Cody included.

The poor ensign somehow went paler and offered Cody a hasty salute before he turned on his heel and scampered out the door desperate to put some distance between himself and his superior officer.

Once he was alone, Cody made sure to engage the lock on his office door and sank down into his chair numbly, his mind and feelings in chaos.

Belatedly, the realization sank in. Obi-Wan was alive, they had _lied_ about his death. Had deliberately hidden the truth and kept him in the dark. Cody was torn between relief and hurt betrayal at the decided lack of trust shown.

Kriff, had _Skywalker_ known and deliberately lied right to his face? No, he’d seen the raw grief in the Jedi’s eyes, he hadn’t known. He’d wanted to kill Rako Hardeen as much as he did.

Yet all the grief and agony they’d both suffered through this week appeared to be or naught because Kenobi hadn’t died, he’d simply gone undercover.

And Cody didn’t know if his irrational sense of hurt betrayal was justified or not. The man was his superior officer, it wasn’t like he had to justify _anything_ to a damned clone. Still, it hurt all the same, over the course of the war, Cody had felt as though they’d come as close to becoming friends as possible when you were dealing with the complicated chain of command and the differences in their stations. Not to mention Cody's technical status as being property of the GAR and of the _Kaminii_ rather than as a legally recognized human.

On the heels of that hurt betrayal was anger that boiled in his veins and resentment at the emotional turmoil he’d gone through thinking Obi-Wan had died.

But even in that, he didn’t know if he was justified in feeling because as before, Kenobi didn’t have to answer to him and the safety of the Chancellor was worth more than some clone’s hurt feelings and self-righteous anger.

Still, there was a difference between logically understanding something and trying to tell that to your heart.

But Cody had a lifetime’s practice in compartmentalizing his emotions, at shoving them down into a box so he could focus on the task at hand. It was how he survived watching his brothers die in the hundreds as friends and batchmates march off into whatever afterlife there might be while he was stuck remaining behind the pick up the pieces.

He drew upon that strength now and eventually managed to gather himself into some semblance of control at last. His eyes burned with unshed tears as he pulled on his bucket and was quietly relieved to have that anonymity as the hud flickered to life in front of him. Because Cody wasn’t one hundred percent certain he had full control of his expressions and no one being able to read his face would be an asset this afternoon as he went about his duties. The rest of the 212th needed to be read in on the situation though he was hardly surprised by the fact that scuttlebutt raced like wildfire through the _Negotiator_ and every brother on board had already heard the news that their General had miraculously returned from the dead by the end of second shift.

Cody drew more than a few cautious and curious looks from his fellow clones and that was when he knew he hadn’t done nearly as good a job at masking his grief this past week. 

It left him surly and short-tempered by the end of the day. A few brothers needed a little bit softer handling but most had given him a pretty significant wide berth. Once he was off-duty, he hit the training rooms and tried to work some of his emotions out through making judicious use of one of the practice dummies rather than take his temper out on someone who didn’t deserve it.

Unfortunately, even punching his fists repeatedly into the practice dummy while trying to picture the likes of Cad Bane or Moralo Eval’s face did little to calm his emotions and if he was being honest, Cody didn’t know who he was really angry with. The obvious villains who’d tried to kidnap Palpatine, or his own Jedi? The whole kriffing Jedi Council for so cruelly perpetuating this charade for as long as they had with little regard for how it would hurt the 212th? Or maybe, if he were being honest, he was simply angry with himself for feeling the way he did because he had no right to feel this way at all. Kenobi was doing his duty; he didn’t owe him a damned explanation or a reason for why he’d taken the mission. Much less answer to why he’d left Cody in the dark and it was pretty karking clear he needed to get his head out of his own ass about the whole thing.

By the time he was done taking his anger out on the hapless dummy, his knuckles were on fire and Cody distantly realized that despite the wraps he’d used to try and protect his hands, he’d still managed to split a couple of knuckles open and there was blood slowly seeping up through the bandages.

“Blast.” He hissed under his breath as he stretched out his fingers and closed them again to test if he’d done any real damage. Sweat was dripping down his face and burned his eyes or at least, that was his excuse for the moisture clinging to his face and exhausted body.

“That’ll happen when you try and put your fist through a practice dummy.” It was perhaps a testament to just how deep he was in his own head that Cody hadn’t even _heard_ Boil approach and had no idea how long the other clone had been standing there watching him. He had the sinking suspicion it was a while. “You break anything?”

Cody stubbornly didn’t answer and just squeezed his hands tight enough to feel the broken skin stretch open but there was no sharp stab of pain that might indicate he’d accidentally broken a meta-carpel or anything else in his hands.

"Doesn’t appear so.” He finally answered shortly. “Was there something you needed, Boil?” He could only hope the coolness of his tone would warn the other clone off. Everyone else had enough sense to give the commander a wide berth since he’d entered the training hall in his blacks and made a beeline for the mats.

“Do you feel any better?” Boil asked instead, blithely ignoring his question. “I’ve done my fair share of beating up inanimate objects lately, but it never really did much for me.”

Irritation bubbled up fresh in his blood and Cody found himself biting back on harsher words than he probably intended right now. It wasn’t that he was cutting Boil some slack per se because of what he’d gone through recently. That just invited further problems down the line but he could be….conscious of what the other clone had gone through when he lost Waxer and maybe…well, maybe Cody understood a little bit better now than he had before at the sheer yawning loss the other man was feeling. 

“It will have to do. What did you need, Boil?” Cody started to unroll the wraps around his hands to inspect the damage a little closer. It didn’t look like it required a visit to the medics, which was honestly a relief because he didn’t feel like getting lectured right now.

“Just making sure you’re okay, Commander. Word has gotten around and I doubt anyone outside of Captain Rex has the balls to ask you how you’re really feeling right now.”

“And you think I’m just going to come crying on your shoulder, Boil?” The sarcasm was unmistakable in Cody’s voice as he shot the other clone an inscrutable look.

“Nah, but contrary to what the shinies may think, I do know you have something more than a lump of coal for a heart and I know how poorly I’d be handling the situation if suddenly Waxer came back from the dead.” The wealth of pain in those words was impossible to miss and Cody found himself looking at the other man sharply.

It was probably the first time he’d heard the man say Waxer’s name since Umbara. Cody didn’t know _exactly_ what the relationship had been between the two men. If they’d simply been close friends or something else. He couldn’t _afford_ to know, not at their commanding officer.

He was good at turning a blind eye to many of the indiscretions and mischief that happened within the 212th when the situation called for it. When it came to pitfalls of potential fraternizations in the ranks, so long as the two _vod_ weren't in the under the direct chain of command of the other and was discrete about it then he was willing to turn a blind eye..

“I’m handling it as best as I can.” He finally admitted softly because Boil showing his vulnerability and sharing his pain deserved more than a brusque brush-off. “At the end of the day, the mission comes first though.”

“Right, the mission.” Boil scoffed and Cody couldn’t quite parse out the emotion that filled the other man’s eyes. Though he could make out the bitterness plain enough and Cody silently cursed himself for his poor choice of words.

He probably should have apologized but honestly? He didn’t know what sins he would be apologizing for, whether it would help in the slightest to ease the other man’s pain. In the end, he couldn’t figure out the words to say because unlike Kenobi, they didn’t come readily to his tongue.

“I appreciate your concern, Boil. But I will be fine.”

“Figured you would be. Now the general, well that’s going to be another matter altogether.”

“What exactly do you mean by that?” Cody asked suspiciously.

“Something tells me he’s never seen your bad side before. It outta be fun to watch how it all plays out.”

“I don’t think I like your tone, Boil. _Or_ your implications.” He felt his blood pressure shoot up a few notches at the way this conversation was getting away from him.

“Begging your pardon, sir, but I’m just stating plain facts. And I’d be lying if I said a part of me hopes you make him pay dearly for this little stunt he pulled. It’s not just you that was upset he died and you’re not the one with the monopoly on being a little outraged as well. So yeah, I’m going to enjoy the show. Better than any holo drama.”

“You’re skating dangerously close to insubordination, Boil. I can assure you, I’m a professional and more than capable of dealing with General Kenobi in a professional manner. I’m hardly going to let emotion get in the way of my duty.”

“My deepest apologies, Commander.” The trooper said utterly unrepentant and Cody didn’t buy that for one second.

“Get out of my sight before you spend the next six months stuck on KP and barracks cleaning duty.” He finally settled for growling at the other clone and Boil just offered him a smug look before he snapped off a parade-ground perfect salute any of their trainers on Kamino would have been proud to behold.

“Sir, yes, sir!” Thankfully, Boil didn’t seem to feel the need to test his patience any further or maybe the trooper had said all he needed to say but he beat a hasty retreat after that, leaving Cody alone in the mostly empty training room. 

Silently despairing of the other man, Cody balled up the discarded wraps and started to clean up after himself before dragging his tired ass off to the showers. The clones only got sonics, not real water refreshers onboard GAR ships. Cody could probably count on less than two hands the number of real water showers he’d taken once he’d left Kamino behind. Water rationing had never been a problem on that water-dense planet but GAR ships didn’t have the luxury of having an unlimited water supply. And every single one of them had been on some miserable campaign on some war-torn world.

The GAR wasn’t one for needless frills or excess, especially when it came to its disposable army of clones. This late, there weren’t any other brothers around and it gave him some much-needed privacy.

He treated his busted and bruised knuckles with some bacta infused topical antiseptic and managed to roll into his bunk just two minutes before lights out but sleep was a long time coming. His rank afforded Cody a private berth the size of a shoebox in officer's country though it was closer to the clone barracks than where the nat-born officers were assigned. It had taken him a long time and a few sleepless nights to get used to the quietude of not being surrounded by a couple hundred sleeping brothers once he'd left Kamino with its cramped sleeping tubes that offered only slightly more privacy than the bunkrooms on board the _Negotiator_.

Clones were built for cohesion, for a unified sense of self that came from being one body in the midst of a thousand all wearing the same faces as you. The more fanciful might call it pack mentality but Cody simply thought of it as being a soldier. One more body that made up the enormous and terrifying cog of the GAR, a war machine that kept churning through guts, gristle, and left the mangled metal of a million different battle droids in their wake.

But with time, he’d come to enjoy the peace and privacy his private bunk afforded him. There was no being stuck listening to the ear-splitting decibels of Wooley or any of a dozen other brothers snoring through the night. That certainly was an unexpected bonus but it could also be lonely in its own way and Cody found himself lonelier than normal tonight.

Sleepless nights were hardly a new thing for him or anyone really. You couldn’t go through this war and not find yourself affected by it emotionally and psychologically. The clones had their own coping systems in place and a brother who got that distant, bleak look in their eyes after a particularly ruinous battle would find themselves suddenly surrounded by a dozen nosy and pushy _vode_ who stayed with them or held them until the shakes went away.

It wasn’t a perfect system but it worked well enough.

His brain and thoughts would not quiet as he lay there staring up at the dark ceiling overhead. He found himself dreading tomorrow when General Kenobi was scheduled to arrive because he still hadn’t managed to come to peace with his complex feelings about the banthashit charade he’d participated in.

Because then Cody found himself questioning why the hell Kenobi hadn’t _told him_ what he was going to do rather than let him suffer the knowledge his beloved general had died. It would have spared him a week of agony and regret.

But then that just sent him spiraling down further into dark and depressing thoughts questioning if Obi-Wan didn’t trust him or that maybe he’d simply imagined the closeness and intimacy they’d come to find between each other throughout the course of the war.

He’d thought they were friends or as near as they could be with Kenobi being his superior officer.

That was when the cold, logically pragmatic part of Cody inevitably pointed out that he was being patently ridiculous and this was a kriffing war so why was he sulking over hurt feelings in the first place? The mission had come first and Obi-Wan had saved the Chancellor.

And in typical Kenobi fashion, he’d jumped headfirst into danger without any backup or support of any kind. The realization that Obi-Wan could have very easily died out on some backwater moon or at the hands of Cad Bane had icy fear and anger at the man’s recklessness fuel his anxieties even further.

* * *

He managed to finally drift off to sleep sometime late into the night cycle but by the time his alarm was going off, it felt like he’d gotten only a few minutes of sleep. His eyes were burning and felt gritty even as he rubbed at them. Cody wasn’t a morning person to begin with and his surliness in the morning was downright legendary amongst the 212th.

Every brother knew to give him a wide berth until he’d at least gotten one cup of caf in him before approaching him. But he didn’t think there was enough caf in the universe to clear the wooliness from his brain this morning.

He got dressed on autopilot and grumpily made his way to the mess to get his morning caffeine fix. His expression must have been blacker than usual because his fellow clones were quite studiously looking anywhere but _at him_ as he sucked down a too-hot mug of caf and picked at his breakfast. They actually had fresh fruit thanks to the fact they were still docked at Coruscant. It was a rare and generally welcome treat but Cody couldn’t even work up the excitement to enjoy the fruit.

His stomach felt like it was tied up in knots and honestly, the very thought of food left him feeling a little nauseous but he forced himself to keep eating if only to keep up the image that he was okay.

The fact that their chief medical officer was giving him a gimlet eye from two tables over _might_ have had something to do with that decision but Cody unlike his general knew that it was a hopeless battle to try and argue with a medic. It was easier to choke down his rations rather than draw the man’s attention and ire.

Thankfully, his CMO and the rest of the _vode_ were giving him some much needed quiet and space this morning and he managed to make it out of the mess without exchanging words with anyone. Cody got his second cup of caf and beat a retreat to his office so he could bury himself in work for a few hours until the general was scheduled to dock with the _Negotiator_.

He spent a good portion of the morning in holo-meeting with Yularen and the rest of the admirals discussing their coming battle tactics and the readiness of the 501st and 212th for the coming campaign.

Both he and Yularen knew it would most likely be a long time before they returned to the Core worlds again so they were planning to stock up on replacements and matériel while they could.

By the time the meeting ended, Cody found himself desperately craving a third cup of caf but little else in the way of an appetite. Unfortunately for him, any plans he might have had to feed his addiction were firmly shoved to the side by a hasty communiqué from the bridge alerting him to the fact that General Kenobi’s shuttle had dropped out of hyperspace almost two hours early.

Cody cursed a blue streak and frantically grabbed up his bucket as he hurried out the door to make it to the hanger deck before Kenobi’s shuttle landed. Normally, it wasn’t that big of a deal but considering he had to formally hand command of the 212th back to the Jedi, he had to be there.

Unfortunately, dealing with Kenobi was pretty much the last thing Cody wanted to do right now but the GAR and life didn’t give two whits for the wishes of on clone commander so he got his ass in gear.

Short of an all-out assault on the ship, Cody would never do anything quite so unprofessional as _run_ through the ship but he sure did manage a mean power walk when he set his mind to it. Thankfully, the brothers he passed through the halls seemed to realize something was afoot if Commander Cody was hot-footing it towards the hanger bay and no one tried to intercept him.

He managed to set boot on deck just as Obi-Wan’s ship landed delicately about twenty meters away and by the time the engines cycled down and the gangplank lowered he was standing there at parade ground attention waiting for his general to depart.

Unsurprisingly, he was accompanied by Skywalker and Cody’s bucket thankfully hid the way his eyes greedily searched the karking fool of a _Jetii_ over for any visible signs of injury. He’d seen Rako Hardeen’s face and didn’t know what kind of crazy science the Jedi had to so seamlessly allow Kenobi to assume the Mandalorian assassin’s identity but he looked reassuringly like himself. His hair and beard were shorter than they had been before though. Shorter than he’d ever seen it and he _almost_ looked regulation.

“Generals, welcome back,” Cody said as he came to attention and saluted the two Jedi generals. Kenobi shot him a look that was borderline wary while Skywalker just looked grimly amused.

“Thank you for greeting us, Cody. We have a lot of things to discuss.” Obi-Wan finally managed with some brittle attempt at levity.

“Yes sir, I have compiled a detailed list of reports that will need your attention and signature.” If there was one thing Obi-Wan Kenobi quelled at it was paperwork and the Jedi started to look a little edgy at the prospect of just what a ‘detailed list’ of reports would entail.

Apparently he knew Cody well enough to guess that it meant he was going to be holed up in his kriffing office for the foreseeable future and he desperately shot a look at his former padawan, silently searching for some excuse but Anakin just offered them both a wide, toothsome smile.

”I wouldn’t want to be a disturbance. I’m sure Rex has a mountain of paperwork for me to tackle as well.”

“But-“ Obi-Wan tried to interject but Skywalker had already turned and headed up the ramp of the ship, leaving his former master to his grim fate.

If Cody had been in a more charitable mood, he might have offered to help share the burden but he wasn’t and the last thing he wanted was to be cooped up in an office with Kenobi for the rest of the afternoon.

“Just how much paperwork are we talking about, Cody?” Obi-Wan finally asked with resignation and a hangdog look on his face.

“A lot, sir. Lots of requisitions forms and reports to go over from the repair crew that will need your approval before we can break dock in thirty-six hours.”

“I’m going to need some tea. Will you join me, Cody?”

He had no idea just how much Obi-Wan could read off of him with his mystical Force powers, Cody had never had the time or inclination to do a deep dive on what a Jedi could do though he’d seen Obi-Wan do seemingly impossible things with it over the course of the war.

There was a hesitance in the Jedi’s body language, an uncertainly he didn’t quite voice so he suspected the man could read _something_ was amiss despite the absolutely even and professional tone he’d taken with the man. And maybe that was it, maybe he’d simply closed down too much and that was the reason for Obi-Wan’s hesitation.

Or maybe the man had an inkling of just what he’d put him through and was trying desperately to find a way to address that with him but Cody would sooner be locked unarmed in a room with Asajj Ventress than be alone with Kenobi right now, so that was not happening.

“I have other duties to attend to, sir. Unless my presence is absolutely vital?” He knew that if he put it that way; Obi-Wan would have to have a damned good excuse to justify a social call with his second in command. Not when Cody had his own duties to perform that extended beyond keeping Obi-Wan company while he sloughed through his least favorite task.

“No, no, it’s fine. You know you could have just forced my signature like you always do. You have my blanket permission to do so.” The Jedi tried to joke but his eyes were troubled as he looked at the inscrutable plastoid helmet.

“You were dead, sir. Can’t forge a dead man’s signature.” There was a flare in the Force around Cody when he said that and Obi-Wan’s could quite contain a flinch when it grated across him like sandpaper. Normally, the Force pooled and flowed around Cody serenely and with a sense of _solidness_ that so closely matched the man’s even and staid personality. Cody was a calm and competent man, one he’d come to care for deeply over the course of the war but now, but right now the Force was in flux around him. He felt as brittle as ice one hairsbreadth from shattering.

He could see the fractures in the man’s Force signature in his mind's eye and it _hurt_ to behold. Especially when he knew he was the cause of that overwhelming, barely masked pain that practically screamed at him. The ever-present guilt that had been gnawing at the back of his mind this entire time suddenly came flooding back in. It was hard enough trying to make peace with Anakin but his former padawan wasn’t the only one who’d been hurt by this mission, he was starting to realize that now. “Cody…”

“If you’ll excuse me, General.” The clone said curtly and without actually waiting to be dismissed, he turned on his heel and marched towards the blast doors. Obi-Wan found himself too mired down in his own guilt to protest. Instead, he just mournfully watched Cody leave.

Yes, it would appear he had a lot of groveling and apologies to make, more than he’d apparently realized. Something Kenobi became increasingly aware of as he walked down the blandly homogenous halls of the _Negotiator_ and found more than one clone’s gaze either skittering away from him or coolly sizing him up with a hefty dose of judgment in them in the case of some of the older clones such as Boil.

Of course, there wasn’t anything outright _hostile_ , and a few of the _vode_ actually looked happy to see him but it did little to calm the unease that was festering in his brain now. Apparently, this wasn’t going to be something so easily forgotten and put away as he’d hoped.

Obi-Wan tried to release his uncertainty into the Force but he was finding it harder than normal, especially when faced with the mountain of paperwork that apparently piled up in the past week.

Not for the first time, he regretted the fact that Cody had brushed him off because the commander was good company and was a deft hand at navigating the seemingly endless red-tape involved with running an army.

But then he remembered the raw pain and brittleness surrounding the clone commander and Obi-Wan felt instantly guilty for his selfishness. He hadn’t been able to see the man’s eyes through the impenetrable visor of the clone trooper helmet but he could all too easily imagine the pain and accusation in the man’s brown eyes and it bothered him more than he’d expected it to.

He needed to meditate on this and find his center in the Force before he tried to reach out to Cody again. With a sigh, Obi-Wan silently promised himself he would make it up to the other man in some way or another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm definitely taking some liberties with how the Force works but if George Lucas wanted hard science in his space opera, he should _not_ have given us Space Magic. I don't know who proposed Cody forging Obi-Wan's signature with his permission originally but it was just such a hilarious mental image I had to borrow it, please forgive me. I also feel like punishing Obi-Wan by grounding him to his office under a mound of paperwork seems like just the kind of dick move Cody would pull on him. Can't really _yell_ at the man but he sure can make his life miserable so he knows his actions do have consequences. Also? I am outrageously salty we don't have Boil's CT number at all in canon apparently. Odd-Ball gets a CT number but not Boil. I guess he's just cooler than the rest of the clones.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning for this chapter, alcohol usage, and drunken shenanigans.

Cody somehow managed to find enough busy work to get him through the rest of his shift without having to come anywhere near the officer’s deck or the general’s office.

Word spread like wildfire through the ranks that Kenobi had been seen onboard sporting a new haircut and the sparsest looking beard any of the _vode_ had seen on him. Cody knew vaguely that there were cosmetics procedures and other things that could rapidly stimulate hair regrowth and he figured Kenobi was probably still regrowing his hair and beard. They’d no doubt had to shave to sell the illusion of him taking on Rako Hardeen’s face. He’d seen the bounty hunter’s craggy face and apparently, the Jedi had some pretty wizard tech because they’d somehow managed to transform the General’s face into that ugly mug only a drunken mother could love. And made it believable enough to pass the scrutiny of a bounty hunter as paranoid and nasty as Cad Bane.

Rumors their general had been seen on the ship looking like a shorn bantha practically flew like wildfire through the clone population on board. Some proclaimed that was utter poodoo while others swore they'd seen the bedraggled Negotiator himself with their own eyes. If his mood hadn’t been so bleak, Cody might have even found the snippets of conversation he heard funny as shinies gossiped shamelessly amongst one another while waiting for their turns to go through the training course him and the other trainers had put together for them in the simulator.

Cody knew he had a reputation of being a hardnosed taskmaster and had heard the resentful grumblings about his supposed heartlessness when it came to training. How they’d decanted him too early and he hadn’t grown a sense of humor yet. It was total _osik_ to anyone who knew him but it was a mark of a commanding officer’s success if he managed to alternately instill terror and admiration, in turn, depending on the situation. It was an example he’d learned at the hands of Jango Fett first and then the venerable and near-mythic figure of Alpha-17 had built upon that rough foundation and molded Cody and the rest of his command class into some of the finest officers in the clone army if he did say so himself.

Training under that clone had very nearly killed him and had been the hardest time of his short life up until that point but Cody didn’t regret a nanosecond of it because it had given him a lifetime of lessons and knowledge he continued to draw upon to this day.

No, he didn’t need his troops to _like_ him, he just needed them to follow his orders unquestioningly as he led them through Hell and beyond. The fact that the 212th and the 7th Sky Corps above it was one of the most highly decorated corps in the entire GAR was a testament to that loyalty. It filled him to pride to know he was afforded the privilege to lead them even as the stress of the job gave him premature gray hairs.

Thankfully, his trainers and the company leaders suffered his needless presence overseeing troop training today without complaint and it was something Cody was quietly grateful for. The fact that no one tried to engage him in pointless chit-chat or personal conversation was even more of a relief. He spent the rest of the afternoon watching the trainers put the newest batch of shiny recruits through their paces. Some of them were so fresh from Kamino they hadn’t even earned the familiar golden paint of the battalion.

That would come after they’d faced their baptism of fire through their first combat campaign. The sad fact of the matter was, some of these young clones wouldn’t even live long enough to earn their paint. It was just one more of the heartbreaking realities of what it meant to be a clone in the GAR but if they fell in battle, it would not be because they hadn’t had some of the best training the trainers on the _Negotiator_ could provide.

By the time he left the training bay behind, he was feeling more balanced and centered than he’d felt in days. So it only stood to stand that his luck had to run out eventually because he’d no sooner returned to his quarters and set his helmet down that his door chimed at him, alerting him to a visitor.

The tired clone just scrubbed at his face for a moment in frustration and wished he had the Force so he could telepathically order whoever was encroaching on his _downtime_ far, far away without having to face them. If only he could just wave his hand like he'd seen Kenobi do more than once over the war and proclaim ' _This is not the clone you are looking for._ ' and magically send his unwanted visitor away. 

When he opened the door, he couldn’t even say he was surprised to find Rex standing there looking far too smug for his own good. “What?”

“You could sour blue milk with that face.” Utterly unfazed by his bark, Rex just arched a brow at him as though to ask if Cody was going to move his ass and let him in. The older clone debated his chances of actually getting rid of Rex quietly but had to silently admit defeat when he realized the chances of Rex leaving him alone were slim to nothing short of him pulling rank on his ass and ordering him off the ship.

And the bastard son of a nerf-herder would never let him live it down if he did. With a tired sigh, the stepped aside and went back to pulling off pieces of his kit.

“It’s been a long day, Rex. What do you want?” Cody asked as he set is cuirass down on the rack he kept near his bunk and started to pull his pauldrons off next. Each piece of his kit was carefully removed and neatly stored away because Cody knew keeping your gear in top shape could mean the difference between life and death on the battlefield. His armor may be scuffed up from here to hell with paint battered to death but that was just superficial damage and anything truly karked was quickly replaced.

“I figured since we didn’t get our night if liberty down at the 79’s I might as well bring the bar to you.” It was perhaps a testament to just how tired Cody was that he hadn’t even _noticed_ the bag Rex had been carrying until he brought out a bottle of teak colored liquor with the label of an all too familiar brand of Corellian whiskey.

“Did you really smuggle alcohol onto my ship, Rex?” Cody didn’t know if he wanted to laugh or shout but settled for pinching the bridge of his nose and counted to ten in his head instead.

“Who said anything about smuggling? We’re both off duty, we both had our liberty scuttled on account of our _di’kut Jetiise_. If you’re really worried about getting in trouble, I could use some help getting rid of the evidence.” Rex said with a cocky grin as he helped himself to the only chair in the room and set the bottle down on Cody’s desk.

Like Cody, he was just wearing his blacks though he did wear a holster with his blasters at his hips. Probably because he was used to things going to hell in a handbasket at a moment’s notice which he could only assume was SOP in Skywalker's legion. “Besides, I figured after today you could really use a damned drink, _vod_.”

Rex knew him better than just about anyone and his eyes held a terrible sort of understanding and sympathy as he looked at the older clone.

“Needed a damn drink all karking week.” Cody snorted and scrounged up a couple of glasses so they didn’t have to pass the bottle back and forth like a couple of idiot cadets sneaking their first taste of booze.

“Good man.” Rex said with a smile and poured them both a couple of generous fingers of whiskey. “I know it ain’t the 79’s but I think this will do in a pinch.”

“Just so long as it isn’t any of Hardcase’s rotgut, I think I’ll be fine.” Cody said with a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as he accepted his glass. He saluted his brother before taking a sip of the whiskey. It burned a path down his throat but it was a good kind of burn. The kind that left a pool of warmth in a man’s belly, and was definitely not any Hardcase’s leftover rotgut. Where Rex had managed to find a bottle of Cody's favorite whiskey, he had no idea but he wasn't going to complain about the happy circumstances either.

“Moonshine on a Republic cruiser? Why, I’ve never heard such a scandalous thing before in my life, Commander Cody.” Amusement twinkled in Rex’s eyes as he savored his own drink.

“Tell that to my medics that time Longshot and Wooley ended up in medical with alcohol poisoning because of that _osik_ your madmen in Torrent cooked up. I though Breaker was going to hijack a gunship and go hunt Hardcase down himself.” They both knew rotgut and a dozen other illicit activities went on under their noses but the men needed some way to blow off steam and so long as they weren’t dumb enough to pull that _osik_ in front of the nat-borns or the officers then they could turn a blind eye to most of the shenanigans that went down in the clone barracks.

“Don’t worry about it, Kix strung him up by his _shebs_ for that. I didn’t think it was _possible_ for Hardcase to have a lick of common sense in that pounded into that empty head of his but he was a model trooper after that.” Rex took a measured sip from his glass. “For about three weeks. Kix might have put the fear of God into that clone but I guess you can't fight nature. It was a hell of a sight.” Fondness filled Rex’s voice as he spoke about the recently dead trooper but there was a trace of sadness in his face as well. It was a familiar pain and one they both shared; they’d both lost good men on Umbara.

Men who shouldn’t have died, not like that, not because of some twisted _dar'jetii’s_ greed.

Cody must have sensed that sadness in his brother because he moved close enough to clink his glass against Rex’s. “Since we didn’t make it down to the 79’s to toast him, better late than never right? Seems to me we got a whole bottle and a whole lot of brothers’ memories to make a toast to,”

When Rex looked up at Cody, his eyes were suspiciously bright. “To Hardcase, I’ll miss that crazy son of a nerf-herder and his stupid kriffing plans.”

”To Hardcase.” And with that, they spent the next hour coming up with random toasts for fallen brothers and getting thoroughly drunk on some quality Corellian whiskey.

By the end of the bottle, they were both seated on the floor next to Cody’s bunk shoulder to shoulder passing the bottle back and forth, all thought of propriety and respectability long since forgotten. Cody had matched him pretty much shot for shot and the bottle was now pretty much down to its last dredges.

“Seriously though, how are you doing? For real, Cody?” Rex asked, carefully trying to enunciate his words.

”How do you think I’m doing, _di’kut_?” Cody griped at him, head lolling around to shoot him an irritated look. “It was bad enough, thinking Kenobi was dead. But only to find out it was just some…some _trick_? He put me through kriffing hell this past week and the worst part is, I can’t even be mad about it.” The alcohol loosened his tongue; he never would have said that out loud if he’d been sober. Rex knew exactly what he was doing when he showed up on his doorstep with a bottle of Cody’s favorite whiskey and plan to get his infamously repressed brother to unwind a little.

“Sure you can, you thought the man was dead.”

“And he _saved_ the Chancellor. He completed his mission. How can I fault him for being a hero?”

“He threw himself off a rooftop pretending to get hit by that sniper. Even for a _Jetii_ that's crazy. I'd expect _my_ general to pull something that nuts but Kenobi seems like he has more sense in him.”

“Where do you think Skywalker learned it from? Mace Windu? Pfft, he’s just as bad as your general. He just hides it better with that posh accent of his.” Cody scoffed and took another pull from the bottle.

Something about that just cracked Rex up because he started to laugh loudly. “I guess you have a point. If the clankers don’t kill us, I think our respective generals are going to be the death of us both.” The blond clone took possession of the bottle and took a swig from it. “Are you finally going to tell him?”

A complex series of expressions trotted swiftly across Cody’s face, confusion, suspicion, and uncertainty before he settled on a frown that had his scar puckering up around his temple. “Tell him what? That he’s going to drive me to an early stress-induced grave? What makes you think I haven’t told him that already? The man drives me crazy, always has.”

Rex shot him a ‘don’t you pull that bantha podoo with me’ look that perfectly conveyed his exasperation with his best friend. “I’m talking about the fact that you’re in love with him, Cody.”

Predictably, the other clone went stiff and immediately tried to pull away from him but the booze had left both their senses of coordination shot. “What the _hell_ , Rex?” He snapped with tension in every inch of his body language.

“What? You and I both know it’s the truth. I know you, Cody. And you’re not as subtle as you seem to think you are with your pining and mooning.” Rex set the bottle down carefully and reached over to grab the other clone by the shoulder firmly. “You almost missed your shot, _vod_. This war might not be generous enough to give you another one.”

“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.” Cody was doing a terrible job of trying to hide just how much those words were affecting him and the naked pain on his face was terrible to behold but Rex kept pushing all the same.

“You’re going to lose him if you don’t say anything, Cody. And I know you, you’ll spend the rest of your damn life regretting it if you don’t be honest with yourself and Kenobi.”

Cody violently shrugged that companionable hand away and unsteadily started to clamber to his feet in an attempt to put some physical distance between the two of them. It was a retreat and they both knew it but Rex didn't immediately try and lever to his feet to follow him, allowing the other clone some much-needed breathing room.

“Do you even listen to the _osik_ that comes out of your mouth? Grow up, Rex. This isn’t some kriffing holodrama. I’m _already_ going to lose him. In what universe does a clone and a high Jedi general have any kind of future? He’s a member of the kriffin’ High Council.” That painful avalanche of words tumbled out of his mouth without a filter or even a second thought and rang with the sincerity of a man who'd repeated them enough times he believed it himself.

“So you’d rather suffer in noble silence and let the chance at something more just pass you by without even _trying_ for it?” Rex demanded sharply.

“He’s my _commanding officer_ , there are regs against this very situation for a reason. And even if he wasn’t, I’m just a clone, Rex. There’s no happy storybook future for us, especially not in the middle of a damned war-zone. Besides, can you imagine the scandal if got out a member of the High Council was in a relationship with a _clone_? Your general might be able to get away with his worst kept secret relationship in the galaxy but that’s not how real life works, Rex. Especially not for a clone, the rules are different for us.”

Rex’s eyes narrowed at him in a glower at that crack about Skywalker but let it slide for a moment. “Sounds like you’ve thought about it a lot, huh? I’m sure that clever brain of yours has examined every possible scenario and just come up with a neat and tidy answer about why it won’t work every single time.”

“Which is why I know it won’t work out, so why put either of us through that? That's operating under the assuming he could even feel the same way. What happens if I just throw caution to the wind and actually told him how I feel only to him to turn around and tell me he doesn’t _want_ me like that? How could I work with the man after that? Hell, he could court-martial me and ship me off to some other battalion in shame. Or worst of all, maybe send back home to be reconditioned. It’s not worth the risk.”

“If you really think General Kenobi would be that cruel then you really are a karking idiot, Cody.” Rex finally said with brutal honesty as he unsteadily climbed to his feet as well. “Because I’ve seen the way he looks at you when you’re not looking just like I’ve seen the way you look at him.”

That confession drew a sharp, surprised look from the other clone as though he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“I think you’re robbing yourself and him of a real chance at something good. And that kind of thing doesn’t exactly grow on trees around here. If this war has taught me anything, it’s that you have to reach out and seize what you want and hold onto it as tight as you can because chances are it might not be here tomorrow.” He invaded Cody’s personal space again and clapped both hands on the other clone’s shoulders.

“Just think about what I’m saying, Codes. Tell your brain and your over-developed sense of caution to take a hike for a minute and just _consider_ the possibility.”

“It’s not that simple, Rex.” This time, he didn’t try and push his brother away; he just sort of stood there with the grim acceptance of a man facing the executioner.

“Nothing in life worth having is easy, _vod_. And you’re too brave a man to be this much of a coward.”

“You bastard, you take that back.”

“Only if you take back that wisecrack about my general. Don’t think I’m going to let that one slid so easily, Cody.” Rex’s hand caught the back of his friend’s neck and held him still, forcing him to meet his gaze.

“I want you to be happy, _ori’vod_. And quite frankly, the amount of pining and noble suffering going on around here is just as bad as those holo-novels you pretend you don’t watch.”

Cody started to open his mouth to protest that slight against his character only to fall silent when Rex shook him by the nape of the neck ever so slightly.

“Besides, you know how much money I would make off you if you and Kenobi finally got your heads out of your asses? I could retire a rich clone to some pleasure planet where cute Twi’lek dancing girls in skimpy outfits serve you those fancy drinks with the little umbrellas in ‘em.”

“I hate you so much,” Cody said without any real heat in his voice and Rex just offered him a shit-eating grin in return.

“I love you too. Now, I’m going to go find a spare bunk to pass out in and you…just think about what I said, huh? This war isn’t going to be hanging out free do-overs and second chances very often.” Rex said, lightly ruffling Cody’s hair as his hand fell away.

With one last serious look, he turned on his heel with the liquid grace of the truly sauced and carefully walked out the door. He’d gotten no more than two corridors away when he spotted the all too familiar figure of Obi-Wan Kenobi striding his way from the opposite direction with a distracted look on his face.

And even inebriated, Rex could guess that there was only one direction he could possibly be headed this late at night while in the clone country on the ship. “General Kenobi?”

The sound of his own name seemed to draw Obi-Wan out of his reverie and when his eyes lighted upon him; a warm smile broke out on his face. “Rex! I didn’t expect to see you here so late. Is everything alright? I thought you'd be on the _Resolute_ with Anakin?”

He had a lot of experience with Kenobi thanks to the fact that the 501st and the 212th tended to serve side by side for a large majority of their missions. It afforded him a level of familiarity with the Jedi almost as intimate as the one he shared with Anakin.

“Not at all, sir. Were you uh-“ the clone broke off momentarily as he tried to put his alcohol hazed thoughts into something resembling order. Maybe he should have kept his kriffing mouth shut but that particular nerf was already out the barn door, right? “Were you on your way to see Cody? He’s a bit um…indisposed at the moment.”

A mildly concerned look filled the Jedi’s face and damn, he was just royally karking this up, wasn’t he? “Might be best to give him till morning if it’s not a dire emergency, he needs a little space.” More like he needed time to sober up but that was neither here nor there. Even he knew that Obi-Wan stumbling upon Cody right now, drunk and hurting as much as he was and wrangling with everything Rex had just said to him was a recipe for disaster. Because he knew his brother and drunken confessions just weren’t Cody’s style, he would have just withdrawn deeper into his shell.

“I’m not sure I get your meaning, Captain.” There was a hint of coolness in Obi-Wan’s words, a new sharpness to the man’s gaze as he looked at Rex.

“All due respect, sir, but I think you do.” That statement was out before his brain to mouth filter could engage. “Cody, he ain’t the type to complain but you did a real number on him with this last mission.” It was _so_ not his place to be saying this but they called it liquid courage for a reason.

Thankfully, Kenobi wasn’t the kind of man who blows his top easily or take offense at a brother speaking their mind to him so long as they did it respectfully enough. The Jedi sighed deeply and reached up to stroke his beard in a familiar contemplative gesture. “I know I hurt him and a lot of people with the charade but it had to be done.”

“Begging your pardon, sir, I can see you keeping it from General Skywalker or even Commander Tano. They’re public figures, Jedi like yourself who people would look to in the event of your death. No one was going to be looking at Cody for sound bytes or for a reaction. No one _cares_ what a clone would think in that kind of situation. He hasn’t left this ship since it all went down. They wouldn’t even let him attend your fake funeral.”

Kenobi actually flinched almost imperceptibly at his words though Rex didn’t know if it was because of his poor choice of words or something else. Guilt radiated from the Jedi and his eyes were filled with shadows when he looked at Rex almost mournfully.

“I know, Anakin told me. He’s told me…well, let’s just say he was not shy about expressing his opinion on this mission the entire trip back from Naboo.”

”Good.” Rex said a little meanly before he could help himself. That earned him an arched brow from the Jedi that spoke volumes but he was already risking an insubordination charge so he might as well make it worthwhile, right? “Actions, they have consequences, sir. It’s all well and good to make justifications about how something is for the good of the mission but people still get hurt in the crossfire. And Cody? He’s too emotionally constipated to say anything like this to you. Kriff, he said the same thing you did and defended your actions. But that don’t make it right.”

Kenobi was giving him a strange look now, one his alcohol blurred mind was having a hard time trying to parse out.

“Look, all I’m saying is just to give him some time. And _please_ , don’t pull something like this again. It about killed him to lose you once, I don’t know if he can handle you dying a second time.” He was tempted tack on a list of some of the crazy, often reckless things Kenobi did like throwing himself off of high windows, jumping out of perfectly good gunships and a dozen other crazy stunts he’d pulled over the course of the war but even Rex knew asking a _Jetii_ not to pull crazy stunts was like asking water not to be wet. It just wasn't going to happen.

And in his limited experience, Jedi tended to be almost universally reckless and prone to crazy theatrics.

“You’ve given me a lot to think about, Rex. Thank you.” That was pretty much the last thing he’d expected Kenobi to say to him and the way Rex stared at the Jedi agog with that stunned expression on his face drew a laugh from the Jedi. He reached out and clapped the clone on the shoulder briefly. “You’re a good friend, Rex, and a better brother.”

“Uh…yes, sir. Thank you, sir.” It wasn’t often Rex was at a loss for words but his poor brain was having trouble switching gears all of a sudden.

“You have a good rest of your night and if I might offer you a bit of unsolicited advice? I would recommend you drink a couple of glasses of water before you pass out or the hangover tomorrow might be monstrous.” The Jedi’s eyes were kind with a hint of amusement in them. Rex felt his stomach plummet right through the deck because _apparently_ he wasn’t nearly as good at hiding his inebriation as he thought he was.

“That obvious, sir?” Chastised, the clone reached up and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

“You’re not normally _this_ gregarious, no. But I’m hardly going to comment on what your _or_ Cody does when you’re off-duty.” And that right there? That was why General Kenobi was one of the best of his kind in Rex’s opinion. The man had never once treated a brother like they were Republic property. He treated them like they were just as human as any other natural born. It was a trait his former padawan shared and part of the reason why Rex would follow the man into the fires of Hell itself if he asked it of him.

The philosophy of someone like Generals Kenobi and Skywalker who valued their troops and their opinions and the likes of someone like Pong Krell were like night and day, that was how they were so diametrically opposed. And in that moment, Rex could see why his _vod_ was as hopelessly in love with the man as he was. “Thank you, sir,” Rex started to raise his hand in a belated salute but Obi-Wan shrugged that courtesy off with a negligent wave of his hand.

“Good night, captain. Thank you for this enlightening conversation.” Smiling almost enigmatically now, the Jedi continued on his way down the hallway leaving the slightly stunned clone in his wake.

Rex just shook his head at the entire situation and started walking in the direction of the empty bunk he sometimes used when he was stationed onboard the _Negotiator_.

Maybe that glass of water wasn’t a terrible idea after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go, thank you for everyone who has commented and come along this crazy ride with me. I totally did not expect to get sucked into TCW and this pairing as much as I have but I'm loving every minute of it. Like I said, I am working on a sequel to this which has become a horrible monster of a fic so it might be some time before it sees the light of day but if I get bit by other plot bunnies, I'll be sure to post them as they come up.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with this, we come to an end of this fanfic. Thank you to everyone who has commented and come with me on this mad ride. Thanks, in particular, go out to lisianpeia who has been a real cheerleader and held my hand when I was panicking over this chapter. I cut a good 2,500 words because I could not get into Obi-Wan's headspace and spent this last week whining over how much I hated the whole thing. I'm sad to say it was definitely 2,500 words of dead weight. I am working on a sequel fic to this that will be coming out sometime in the future.

His alarm going off dragged Cody out of a dead sleep to perhaps the worst hangover of his life. There was a reason he didn’t overindulge as a general rule but last night, it had seemed like such a _good_ idea. It had left him feeling glorious numb and afloat and now he was dragged back to a reality where it felt like something had died in his mouth and his head was splitting open with the most vicious headache of his life.

The loud beeping of his alarm definitely wasn’t helping and it was a good thing his blaster was too kriffing far away or he would have blasted the damned thing into next week. Since those especially baleful thoughts weren’t very productive or befitting a clone of his rank, Cody settled for dragging his half-dead carcass out of bed and stumbled over to shut off the alarm with a little more force than was necessary. His splitting head didn’t appreciate the sudden movements he’d made as he rolled out of bed and it had his empty stomach roiling in a nauseating manner for a moment.

Cody shot a mournful look in the direction of his bed and the temptation to crawl back into it and die was almost too much to bear. Somehow he suspected, Rex was having a laugh at his expense somewhere and all he could hope was the bastard was suffering like he was.

After a certain point his memories of the last night were hazy at best but judging by the fact he still had one sock on, and was missing the top of his blacks assured him the chances of him having gone carousing about the halls while drunk were relatively slim at least.

That should have cheered him up but he was finding it hard to be excited about anything right now.

Eventually, he found his missing uniform top wadded up under his pillow but he had no karking clue where his sock had gotten off to.

To spare his poor head, the clone keyed up the lights to a bare minimum and ended up knocking the empty bottle of whiskey over so hard it went clattering across the floor of his cabin.

“Kark it all.” Cody grumbled to himself as he chased after the bottle and picked it up. Just a _whiff_ of the vapors coming off that thing had his stomach rebelling once more and he hastily disposed of it.

The urge to crawl back into bed was steadily rising but the chime of his door alerting him to a visitor put that thought to the side. Who the hell would come knocking on his door this early? Reveille hadn’t even kriffing sounded yet! Cody’s infamous early morning grumpiness was souring quickly to belligerence as he stomped over to the door controls.

“ _What_?” He barked before it had even finished opening to reveal a rather contrite looking Obi-Wan. By the Maker, could this morning be any more karked up? “Sorry, sir. I uh…sorry.” He hastily apologized as he came to attention.

“And a fine good morning to you as well, Cody.” Amusement played at the edges of Obi-Wan’s mouth as he held out the still steaming cup of caf like a peace offering. “I know it’s early but I was hoping we might have a moment to talk before you start your day?”

Belatedly, Cody’s sluggish brain pointed out he was standing there mostly undressed and undignified with yesterday’s blacks on sans his uniform top and one sock. Clones weren’t especially body-conscious because that was pretty much drummed out of you by the time you got through your first year in the crèche. This wasn’t even the first time Obi-Wan had caught him in a state of undress, such things were an inevitability in war-time but he had the sinking suspicion his eyes were red-rimmed and bloodshot. There wasn’t much hiding the fact he was nursing the mother of all hangovers right now and the damned _Jetii_ seemed to accept all of this with an air of amusement.

The realization he’d been standing there stock-still for a good ten seconds seemed to slowly sink in and Cody belatedly reached out to accept that cup of caf and cradled it carefully in his hands. “Sorry, I’m a little…” Stars take it, even the smell of caf was threatening to turn his stomach and Cody mourned the subtle betrayal of his own body rejecting his favorite beverages.

He tried to do a quick calculation on whether or not it was worth the risk of throwing up in front of his commanding officer by drinking the stuff. Because if he was expected to hold this conversation at this unholy hour then he needed to be appropriately caffeinated.

“I can wait for you to get dressed?” The Jedi reassured him with a serene look on his face. He wouldn’t admit it but finding Cody this out of sorts was both hilarious and a little bit worrisome if only because the man looked so abjectly miserable.

Cody choked down a few swigs of caf and hissed through his teeth when it was hot enough to burn the roof off his mouth. He miserably debated the wisdom in having Kenobi just stand outside the hallway while he got dressed and just how much that would feed the scuttlebutt on board the ship before gesturing for the Jedi to join him.

It wasn’t the first time he’d changed in front of his general and it probably wouldn’t be the last. Much to his relief, his stomach didn’t seem to immediately rebel against the caf. After draining half the mug while searing the top two layers off his tongue; he set his mug down somewhat reluctantly.

“What’s so important that it required the early morning wakeup call, sir?” Cody finally asked the question that was itching at the back of his mind as Kenobi stepped inside his quarters and the door finally closed behind him to give them some privacy.

The Jedi had been in his room countless times over the years for a variety of reasons but Cody couldn’t say that he’d ever been as attuned to the man’s presence as he was right now.

Obi-Wan took a slow, measured sip from his tea. “To be blunt, I wanted to make sure I could catch you before you found someplace to hide out for the day.”

Alarm briefly flickered across the clone’s face because apparently he hadn't been very subtle in his avoidance yesterday. “ _Sir_? I don’t—“

Obi-Wan just calmly raised a hand to forestall any protests. “You’ve been avoiding me, Cody. But I understand why. However, there are things that need to be aired out between us lest they fester and interfere with our working relationship.”

Cody scowled as he turned away to tug a fresh shirt over his head. His sole remaining sock from yesterday had been dragged off his foot already and thrown into a hamper but he still had no kriffing clue where its mate was. Had it vanished into thin air?

“I don’t know if that is a good idea, sir.”

“Be that as it may, I must insist. Please, I want you to speak plainly with me on this because I intend to do the same. There’s no rank here between us right now, do you understand, Cody?” There was a hint of steel in Obi-Wan’s voice and Cody knew he was well and truly karked. “I will start. I owe you and the rest of the men an apology. In performing this mission, I did not think of how it would affect you or the rest of the battalion.”

Bitterness churned in the pit of Cody’s stomach as those words washed over him and he had to fight the urge to snort derisively because _no kidding_ he hadn’t thought that through one vaping minute. “With all due respect, sir, that is the understatement of the century..”

Somehow, despite prefacing his words with ‘all due respect’ Cody’s tone didn’t exactly convey respect but Obi-Wan just tiredly accepted that accusation without protest.

“You’re right, I could make excuses about how it was imperative to the mission that everyone believed my untimely demise but I now know it was needlessly cruel on my part. I can assure you, Anakin has made his feelings on the subject loudly clear.”

“Good.” The clone said grimly, his response a near echo to Rex’s from last night, ironically enough. “They wouldn’t even allow us to attend your funeral. Did you know about that?” The unbridled pain in those words sunk between the Jedi’s ribs like a proverbial vibroblade and Obi-Wan momentarily forgot to breathe.

“That was not my call and I didn’t know about it until after the fact. I don’t think you were excluded out of malicious intentions for what it is worth? We Jedi are not given to big affairs or things like state funerals. I know it’s a poor excuse and I’m sorry for that.”

“They allowed Duchess Kryze to attend.” Cody was a little bit ashamed of his pettiness in bringing that up but Obi-Wan had opened the door on ‘speaking plainly.’

“Come now, commander, I think you underestimate the fact that no one ‘allows’ Satine Kryze to do anything. She is a force unto herself.”

That garnered Kenobi a quiet huff of amusement because Cody had met the good Duchess and she was terrifying as she was beautiful. She and Obi-Wan were a good match for one another even if the two of them could not be in the same room for more than five minutes without devolving to bickering.

“I can assure you, the next time they hold a funeral for me, I will make sure you are invited, commander.”

“ _Don’t_. Don’t even joke about _that_.” Cody bit out harshly, his face absolutely unamused as he shot a sharp look at Obi-Wan.

“As you wish, perhaps that was a little too soon.” When that garnered him another resentful look from the clone and Obi-Wan just held up his free hand in a conciliatory gesture. “Definitely too soon, and in poor taste.”

“Hmph.” Cody made a grumpy noise as he pulled off his pants and changed into a fresh pair while Obi-Wan politely diverted his gaze to give him some privacy.

“Last night, I had to do a lot of soul searching and when I tried to place myself in your shoes, I found my actions truly abhorrent. Even if the mission was important, it was still needlessly cruel.”

“I understand having to put the mission first, sir. That’s not the part that’s upsetting.” Cody finally confided quietly as he sat down on the edge of his bed to pull on a fresh pair of socks and his boots. “If you want me to speak freely I will. But you cannot blame me if I tell you some things you may not want to hear.” The clone said, looking up at him with a carefully neutral expression on his face. But there was tightness around his eyes that pulled at the edges of his scar and a grim set to his mouth that betrayed him.

“I want to hear your unvarnished thoughts, Cody. Like I said, there’s no rank between us, we’re simply two men holding an honest conversation.”

“Fine. You’re reckless, general. Far too reckless and I’ve had to come to accept that as a fact. There isn’t a damned thing I can do to rein you in when you get some half-crazed idea in that _di'kutla_ head of yours. And I’ve had to make peace with that realization for the most part.”

“Cody…” Obi-Wan tried to interject somewhat weakly but the clone made a sharp motion with one hand that indicated he wasn’t done talking.

“You wouldn’t be you if you weren’t willing to throw yourself headfirst off of a cliff or right into a Seppie ambush without a second thought for your own personal safety. So when I was told you’d just up and walked right into a sniper’s bullet, all I could think was that maybe it was my fault for just enabling your insane antics over the years. Not that I wouldn’t have been able to do a damned thing to stop it if I’d been there. I felt like I had failed you in some way. And I was going to have to live with that for the rest of my days.”

The pain that was pouring into the Force around Cody was palpable and it scored at Obi-Wan’s senses like sandpaper. His first instinct was to try and reach out to comfort his commander in some way but he found himself hesitating.

“I had to say Remembrances for you, sir. And I don’t ever want to have to say those words again. Not when it comes to you.” In the back of Cody’s mind, the foggy memories of Rex’s words were coming back to haunt him. His _vod_ had urged him to take his shot, to lay it all out there.

But Cody just wasn’t that kind of clone to just lay everything out at Kenobi’s feet in some flowery confession of his feelings.

“Add onto that having to field the anxieties of all the men about what kind of general we might be placed under after that debacle with Krell on top of everything else? That campaign has left scars on the battalion that goes deeper than I think you realize, general.” Of course it had, in many ways, the clone’s unwavering trust in the _Jetii_ had been tested and in some cases, even broken.

A troubled look filled the Jedi’s face when Cody confessed that because if he was being honest with himself, he hadn’t even considered that particular scenario. How after seeing the Jedi at their worst recently in the likes of Pong Krell the 212th would feel knowing they’d lost a general they could trust in only potentially be placed under another Jedi as awful and bigoted as him.

Not that the Besalisk’s bigotry towards clones was the standard, no he was a shameful aberration and one that should have been discovered and stopped long ago. But if he were being honest with himself, Obi-Wan couldn’t say he would blame his troops for fearing what might happen to them if he’d died. Suddenly Obi-Wan found himself wondering if it wouldn’t be a bad idea to start planning for that unfortunate possibility now. If he could line up another Jedi to take the 212th in the event of his death.

“We’ve been through hell this past week while you were off gallivanting across the galaxy with the worst kind of bounty hunting scum. And despite that, I’ll be honest? I don’t know if I’m even justified in feeling the way I do. Because it’s not my place to dictate your actions just like I can’t make you not take stupid risks out there in the field like trying to take on a whole pack of gutkurrs. So yes, I have been avoiding you because I don’t know how to feel in this situation. I’m angry and upset that you had to deceive me but I’m also relieved that you’re not dead. I’m wrestling with all of that and more right now. Can you blame me for wanting some time to figure out the _osik_ going on in my own head first?"

"No, I suppose I do not." Obi-Wan found himself drawn closer to the clone and since the seating was limited in the commander’s tight quarters, he indicated the edge of the bed next to Cody. “May I?”

“Be my guest.” Cody finally said tiredly and had pretty much given up on getting dressed while he tried to hold this conversation with Obi-Wan. His boots sat at his feet unfastened and loose around his ankles.

Frustration and shame colored the Force around the conflicted young man and Obi-Wan couldn’t stop himself from reaching out to touch the clone on his shoulder. “I am ashamed to say that it did not even occur to me to consider what you and your brothers would go through losing their general so soon after Umbara and that’s an oversight that was unforgivable on both mine and the council’s part.”

“That was out of line, sir.”

“It was not. You are correct in saying I don’t fully understand what your brothers faced on that campaign. I think everyone just got so distracted by what Captain Rex and the 501st faced that we didn’t realize how much that shook the 212th’s trust in us Jedi as well. I promise you, my first priority today will be to make certain I’ve made proper arrangements for the 212th in the unfortunate circumstances that I do die. I don’t know what the regulations say about such things but you won’t end up serving under another Krell, of that, I can assure you.”

“Thank you, general. I know the men will be relieved to hear that.” And it did help ease some of the anxiety that had been eating away at the back of his mind. He halfway expected Kenobi to get up and leave now that he’d gotten that off of his chest but instead, the Jedi stayed there, with the weight of his hand burning into Cody’s senses.

“As for the rest, I believe I have done you a great personal disservice, Cody. You’ve been suffering from this for a while, haven’t you? And I’ve been too blind to see what was right in front of my face. I don’t ever want you to ever feel like you have to apologize for feeling the way you do.” Those words lit a spark of something inside the clone so ephemeral and delicate; he didn’t dare risk calling it hope lest dissipate like mist from the weight of that word alone.

“I cannot promise you I won’t take risks in the field because you and I both know sometimes there is no other choice but I don’t want you to feel as though you cannot talk to me about these sorts of things either. I know I am your superior officer but I would like to think we’ve moved beyond just commander and general throughout the course of this war. I would hope you could call me your friend as well as your general. And as such, that you will tell me how you are feeling rather than just bottling it up because that’s what is expected of a soldier.”

Obi-Wan suspected maybe he was crossing a line by suggesting that but he found it to be true. Maybe that was why he himself was struggling so much with the realization he’d hurt the clone as much as he had. Because he’d abused the trust of someone who he cared about as more than just a competent soldier under his command. And now he found himself facing the realization that he needed to reassess where he and Cody stood.

The clone had a strange look on his face; one that Obi-Wan couldn’t quite parse. Cody sat there with the weight and warmth of Obi-Wan’s hand on his shoulder that seemed to burn through the thin material of his blacks until it felt like a brand on his skin. Or maybe Cody’s imagination was working in overdrive and he was being ridiculous. His eyes darted upwards, searching Obi-Wan’s face for answers to questions he didn’t know if he could even risk asking himself.

Later on, he would blame the ghost of Rex’s words about not letting this second chance pass without seizing his opportunity for his momentary lapse in sanity. Because with Obi-Wan so close and the weight of his hand on his shoulder Cody had no other excuse for the way the distance between them seemed to melt away, for the way his head tilted up ever so slightly as he brushed his mouth against Obi-Wan’s in an unmistakable kiss.

For the briefest of moments, he thought maybe everything would be okay but then there was a tell-tale stiffening in the Jedi’s posture, though it was perhaps a kindness that he didn't immediately push him away. No, perhaps worst of all, he just sat there unmoving as Cody kissed him and scarcely seemed to breathe. Admittedly, he didn’t have a whole lot of experience with kissing people but even Cody knew this wasn’t the ideal reaction and he pulled away with horror dawning at the back of his mind.

Clones didn’t pray to any God because the _Kaminii_ hadn’t seen the point in including religious viewpoints into their training. But in that moment, if Cody had believed in any particular God, he would have been fervently praying to them. For them to open up the ground beneath him, strike him down with a bolt of lightning, anything to get him _out_ of the breathtakingly stupid situation he’d apparently put himself in because he had read the situation _all_ wrong.

“I’m sorry, that was wildly inappropriate.” He said as he shot to his feet. Where was he going to go in his tiny shoebox of a room? He didn’t know, all he knew was he had to put some distance between him and Obi-Wan. “I don’t know what I was thinking, that was so kriffing stupid.”

Obi-Wan had never seen Cody so flustered in his life, hadn’t even thought it _possible_ for him to be flustered. The man had faced being in the middle of a multi-rotation long barrage of Separatist mortar fire without losing his cool. If it had been any other situation he might have found it funny or even charming to behold.

But as it was, this was no laughing matter. Suddenly, some of the nuance in Rex’s words last night was making a lot more sense and Obi-Wan had to quickly re-evaluate things on the fly. Thankfully, he’d always been rather good at thinking on his feet. “Cody.”

“It won’t happen again, I swear to you,” Cody assured him, backing away carefully. His half unfastened boots threatened to trip him up with every step but he couldn’t even stop long enough to yank them on properly.

“ _Cody_. Calm down.” The Jedi smoothly climbed to his feet and followed him across the minimal distance until the clone found he’d quite literally backed himself into a corner much to his dismay.

“I should never have done that, I’m so sorry, general.” Horrible possibilities were unfolding in front of him. What if Kenobi reported him? Or had him reassigned? It was like his bleakest, darkest nightmares were coming to fruition.

“Blast it,” Obi-Wan finally said, losing his patience and he reached out with both hands to capture the other man’s face between his palms. “Cody, I need you to calm your mind and breathe. And maybe allow me to get a word in edge-wise whilst we are at it?”

The vulnerability and uncertainty in the clone’s face as he looked at him was heart-breaking but the desperate trail of words finally ceased and Cody just stood there tense and ready to bolt if given half a chance.

“Let us get one thing clear right away; I am not upset with you. Okay?” No, far from it in fact, and didn’t that beg some further thinking on his part? Now that he’d had a second to process it, Obi-Wan was finding he hadn’t minded that kiss nearly as he probably should.

Cody was hyper-aware of the man’s palms cupping his cheeks, the line of rough calluses running across his right palm from gripping a lightsaber hilt. It was so utterly different from the calluses that clones gained over their years of fighting and from grasping their guns too tightly. A full-body shudder ran through the clone and he tried to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat.

“Good, continue to breathe with me. In and out,” The Jedi’s voice took on a soothing quality and normally, Cody would have scoffed at him trying to coach him through some kind of breathing exercise or worse yet, some kind of karking meditation but he found himself incapable of not listening to him and his breathing slowed until it matched the Jedi’s measured breathing.

“I’m sorry, general-”

“Ah! Breathe.” His right thumb stroked across Cody’s face with surprising tenderness and skimmed the line of his scar gently. After a few moments of just breathing in sync with one another, Obi-Wan finally broke the silence. “Are you ready to listen to me now?”

That had a hint of rebellion kindling in Cody’s eyes but he dropped his gaze meekly after a moment. “Are you going to call me out for being a complete and utter _di’kut?_ ”

“I think you’ve more than covered the market of self-recrimination in this situation, Cody.” Amusement colored the Jedi’s words and when Cody didn’t react poorly to him touching his scar, he repeated the soothing gesture again. “I do not mind that you tried to kiss me. You simply surprised me was all.”

Confusion filled the clone’s face and he started to open his mouth to no doubt apologize again so Obi-Wan made the snap decision to cut this self-recriminating cycle off at the bud. He leaned in and slanted his mouth across Cody’s in a much more firm kiss that the hesitant one the clone had given him.

Obi-Wan wasn’t sure what he was expecting when he did that, hadn’t even fully thought it through himself but the Force seemed to sing around them when he kissed Cody. A sense of rightness that he hadn’t expected lit up across his senses, unlike anything he’d felt in years.

Cody sucked in a surprised breath which Obi-Wan felt as he tilted his head ever so slightly to improve the angle of the kiss and he allowed it to linger for a few more moments until he was certain he’d made his point.

It was with some reluctance that he finally pulled back just enough to rest his forehead against Cody’s in a softer version of a Keldabe kiss and he simply allowed himself to breathe for a moment while processing what just happened.

That newborn elation was tempered somewhat with the somber realization that despite them both apparently wanting this, they both still had a duty to the GAR. Obi-Wan smiled a little sadly as he pulled back even further so he could study the entirety of Cody’s face and he didn’t miss the fleeting look of something that might have been akin to longing briefly touching the clone’s face.

“Now, as I was trying to say, I do not mind. And if I had my druthers, I would happily follow this path to its conclusion.”

“…but.” The clone said softly, already sensing there was on coming.

“But you are within my chain of command and it would be highly inappropriate for me to take advantage of you like that.”

“You wouldn’t be though.” Cody immediately tried to argue, brows beginning to knit together in a frown.

“The GAR would not see it that way, Cody.” Genuine regret filled the Jedi’s eyes as he met the other man’s gaze and his heart broke all over again to see that realization settle into the younger man’s face. “Short of transferring you to another battalion-“

“No! Anything but that, sir. I couldn’t…I don’t want to serve anywhere else.” The thought of being transferred to another battalion and so far away from Obi-Wan was unbearable. The man would probably get himself killed within a week if he wasn’t there making sure he didn’t do something monumentally stupid.

“I understand. Then this…whatever this is between us. It is going to have to wait.”

“Sir?” Cody asked with a puzzled look. That tenuous sort of hope, an emotion something so delicate and ephemeral, he was almost afraid to name it that kindled in his chest once again.

“This war won’t last forever and once it is over and I am no longer your general…well, then we can come back to this.”

“But you’re a Jedi.” There was an unasked question in that simple statement and it was Obi-Wan’s turn to smile a little wryly.

“That I am, and attachment is a tricky business but Jedi are not forbidden love, Cody. It is love that excludes all others and comes before our duties that we are forbidden. I’m not saying navigating a relationship won’t be a tricky one but I am willing to try if you are willing to wait for me.”

“Sir, I would wait for you for the rest of my life.” Those heartfelt words had the Jedi’s expression softening ever so slightly. It should have sounded cheesy and like something out of those dreadful holo-novels but somehow it didn’t, not when Cody said it with such conviction.

“Very well, but only if you promise me one thing?” He swept his thumb along Cody’s skin one more time as the clone finally worked up the courage to reach out and curled his fingers into the folds of his robe.

“What, general?”

“That you call me Obi-Wan. It’s going to be a bit awkward if you continue to call me general or sir.” He teased gently.

That startled a laugh out of the clone and Obi-Wan found he could only grin in answer. “Are we agreed?”

“Yes, sir. Er… Obi-Wan?” The feel of Obi-Wan’s name in his mouth felt strange and foreign and the military man inside of Cody wanted to protest such familiarity. But it was worth it to see that warm smile break out on the Jedi’s face. _His Jetii_ a quiet, barely-there voice whispered in the back of his head. If not yet then one day soon. They just had to make it through this damned war. But Cody clung to that promise that after the war, when their duties were satisfied, then they could explore where this relationship might take them.

He knew it wasn’t going to be easy and that there was going to be a steep learning curve trying to navigate a relationship with a Jedi but he held that promise close in his heart and felt it kindle like the smallest of flames, warming him from the inside out.

“It feels very strange calling you that,” Cody admitted with a quiet laugh.

“Then I supposed the only thing to do is exposure therapy. You’ll simply have to get into the habit of calling me that when we’re all alone.”

“Oh, is that your grand plan then?” Amusement gleamed in the clone’s eyes as he arched a brow at the Jedi. Obi-Wan simply smiled at him in that infuriatingly serene manner of his. It was his Negotiator façade and one Cody had been subjected to far too many times over the years.

“It certainly couldn’t hurt.”

“As you say, sir. Err…Obi-Wan.” That earned him a laugh and a fond look from Kenobi.

“I suppose it shall have to be a work in progress, commander.”

“I suppose it shall.” And much to Cody’s surprise and a vague sense of disbelief over how the past few minutes had gone down, he found himself quietly hopeful and looking forward to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried not to overwhelm the fic with too much but you can tear the clones speaking Mando'a from my cold, dead fingers so here's a quick and dirty guide.  
> Dar'jetii - Dark Jedi or a Sith  
> Di'kut - Idiot  
> Di'kutla - Stupid or useless  
> Jetii/Jetiise - Jedi, singular and plural  
> Kaminii - Kaminoan  
> Osik - Dung  
> Ori’vod - Older or big brother  
> Shebs - Backside or buttocks  
> Vod/Vode - Sibling or brother / Brothers


End file.
